Whisky the Prequel.

It all started with “Ugly Betty” ...the maid.

Here’s my story.

After Wai- fung, a maid who had been with us for five years, left .......we got the service of the “Ugly Betty”....UB for short.

UB was loved by every member of my family(ies) ...extending to my mother ...brothers ...sisters and in-laws...................even the dogs love her...................but UB drove me up the walls.......I cannot stand her...much as I tried to be more tolerant and accommodating.

With UB...everything was slow ....breakfast extending to lunch .......it takes like ‘forever’ for anything to get done .......laundry cleaning with washing machine took hours.....ironing took a ‘life-time’..........with UB in our family........everything was “SLOW motion” ........we slowed down .....we ate outside.......we help her in her work .........we in short, do everything for her ....and “We” in short means my wife Sam and sometime.. the children.

UB had dental problem .....and It cost me a fortune to get her teeth fixed.. in the duration (4 months) she was with us and ..........I ..I.....am BOILING now!!!!!!

..then one evening when we came home after dinner.........we found the door ajar....and upon further investigation......the maid’s room was emptied ...and on the dining table was a note .........

.....and in that note......she thanks everyone for being very nice to her and asks for forgiveness to her action...

( Ugly Betty eloped with a construction labour nearby ).


As UB was still under guaranteed from the employment agency....we were entitled to a free replacement .......three months later, Whisky arrived.


With Whisky time didn’t slow down .................time stood still.

Whisky the Un-thinkable.

Un-thinkable.



This is the 3rd. Chinese New Year....the no:3 “Ang Pow”... that Whisky (Yacob) received from me..........and in it was $20.00

.....I swore here in dA..3 years ago.......when Whisky first arrived at my home to work as maid ......I will sent her back the very minute her 2 years contract expire.......and that I would not retain her even if she works for me free.

Here’s my story. Chapter One.

I don’t know where to begin ......but for the benefit of those who had become my friends later on ....I think it is appropriate to begin with the maid’s arrival...three years ago.

After a series of mismatch and runaway maid.....the Agency went back on their words “money back guarantee”........ and replace us with another maid named Yacob ...and hence, the story began.................

I shook my head in disbelief the moment I set eyes on Yacob...she could hardly walk straight......she was scrawny ...dazed ...like an inmate from the Tuberculosis retreat of a hospital .......the Health Certificate declared her Fit though......
........the said Agent says that Yacob is stressed out from the undertakings of her duties as a maid in an environment completely foreign..... (Yacob is the 9th. Maid) ......I’ve seen enough ....I REFUSED to accept her.

In the midst of the hulala (arguing) between the Agent and I ........I threatened legal actions.......I threatened Police report ....and all the loud noises.....

...........Yacob smiles ....just smiles a childlike smile ....a ‘lollipop’ smile ....... a smile that inspired the caption of my work “Everyone smiles in the same language”.

I was smitten.

..OK!.....I take her, said Samantha
Ya! we take her, I said.

...and hence, our journey began.................................................


Statistical tales of the facts: Whisky is a sleep machine ............................to be contd.

Spaghetti Blue.

Bob in Wok ........not ....Wok with Bob.... .......for the time being.......



Man.......I am feeling the blues..............I stayed off Spaghetti since Wednesday....and I am not feeling quite myself .............................it is like ..............blank!.............................
........................................blur.............

I seek comfort in noodles......any cooked noodles......soup noodles.....wantan noodles......... fried Singapore noodles ............braised duck noodles........curry noodles ......prawn noodles...............
....beef stomach noodles .....pork balls noodles......fish balls noodles.....fish head noodles..
..sour Assam curry noodles .........pork belly herbal noodles ..........tom yam noodles.......
...claypot braised noodles ......soto noodles ...........fried hokkien noodles.........Cantonese noodles ......... live prawns noodles...........spaghetti fried ala Chinese style noodles!!!!!!!!
....and many more.


I had better eased off the Italiano spaghetti .......for a period or else........ the last ‘date’ with Spaghetti I had on Wednesday (24/3)........ would be the last plate ....reason being that............my blood sugar level reading is on the bother-line...........and if I don’t take heed ....I will be a diabetic................in a year time..........


I don’t know .................................what my world would be like without Spaghetti.....


...........I don’t know ..............................how on earth my world would be..... ..........IF......... I have to..........put a brake to the carefree voyeuristic pursuit of ‘chow’ to satisfy the ‘foodie’ in me.......and to satiate the gluttony in my system.....


I just don’t know.


...Time passes too fast.........tomorrow is a few hours away......

....YES!!!..YES!!!!..YES!!!!!!
...and come Monday is SPAGHETTI Day ..... a day I designated to be ....the one weekly ‘bonding session’ with good old Italiano.....


I feel good already...YES!!!!!!!!!!

Spaghetti.

Wok with Bob.



After I got over the craving for Tom Yam.........I revisited an “Old Friend”...whom I never gave a hoot for ......and strangely, the second chance meeting ....saw me falling head over heel in love with ......the Spaghetti.

I just had to have Spaghetti...where ever I went............and this “(un)-holy alliance”........... so to speak, has been tagged on me for a few months now and there is no sign of it wavering....w0w!!!!...

I travelled the length and breadth of my small world........visiting every eatery.........every nook and corner .......... “four stars restaurant” ......established brands ....in search of the “Best Spaghetti”.....

...and...

...I HAVE FOUND MINE!!!!!! .....absolute BEST ........surprisingly delicious....like straight out from Rome .........authentically Italian ...
........ I have not been there (Italy)...... but it is not hard to imagine ....and it is easy to imagine that the Romans would make a ‘bee line’ for the eatery if they had known its whereabouts......and I am NOT TELLING.

The outstanding qualities that brought me here and again to this particular eatery to have my favourite spaghetti ......is simply the fact that it is just right in everyway ..... the.... PERFECT pinch of salt ........the TELLING chunks of tomato ..... ..the CLEVER dash of herbs and spices..........the MEASURED teaspoons of vinegars and whatever....and so on.............
....and the MAMA MIA touched of spaghetti ....right down to the servings.

My journey in search of the Best Spaghetti did not end here.....I am still searching....and at the same time learning the “SECRETs” of the Master Chef .......................deciphering the recipe .......perfecting my skill to conjure up the “BETTER of the BEST” spaghetti for my family ..................friends too.

I am having “you-know-what” for lunch soon after .....bye!

My Lunch.

My lunch.


I was with a friend........a gregariously jolly fella ...who when in his element...is capable of cooking up the silliest silly jokes ...and this time round.....with a small windfall at the casino and a couple of self-congratulatory boozes .....he outdid himself.

Met him and his colleagues at the designated eatery .....a joint we frequented.....to have lunch.....
...in came the Fella .......half sober from the congratulatory boozes.....and half somber from the few thousands winning at the casino.

Robert! ...on me.....on me.....on me...., he joyously said ...

Waiter...waiter.....order...ORDER..... .....the boss came............the Fella told the boss
...that he is tired of the same old dishes......and he pointed to the big water tank outside...I want that big FISH....how much!!!!!!

........the Boss quiped..... but that’s my pet......he has been with me for years.......[ We know....I have seen it when it was a baby of about a few inches long ] ......

...ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR for him....ok!....my friend said......
...and cooked it “Teo Chew Steam Style” with extra tomatoes and ginger.....ok!

....ok! said the Boss............ he disappeared into the kitchen...and from the kitchen I heard pleading voices.....squealing ..Cussing.......and the Boss came out with the net.....went back into the kitchen.....some more noises...

...some 45 minutes later........the red- faced Son of the boss...came out with the biggest serving plate .......and few other smaller plates of other dishes .....and bowls of rice.

They were having a great time ...and I had to be the spoiler...I couldn’t bring myself to eat somebody else’s pet...all I had was the “Egg FooYong” ..... they told me that it was very very sweet and the meat was delicately delicious ..... I envied them.

Many years ago...I bought 2 baby chicks as pets for my daughters......and they gave them names...one being Flowery and the other was called Roadrunner....we rare them for a period...and they grew up to be very big , strong and handsome......Cockerel and Hen...

One morning....Sam and the maid....together with my children took Flowery and Roadrunner to the market to be slaughtered.....without my knowing.......and the children were too young to know........

...that evening ...we had Friend Chicken.........on the table.....I saw the biggest drumsticks .......Sam put one each on the children’s plate ....and I had the whitest breast meat ........

........just before I bit into it........I habitually looked out of the window to look at the dogs
...and the garden ....and I saw the familiar cage ...it was emptied.......

I enquired .................................. Sam said ...Just eat!...very delicious!...free range chicken is very sweet and best!

I didn’t eat....I cried silently....and puke inside, literally.... ...but I understand.

Happy Chinese New Year.

...GONG XI FA CHAI ....

Happy Chinese New Year.

Is it me.

Wok with Bob.


I was at the McDonald a few days ago.....I had McChicken...and I was SURPRISED!.....it didn’t taste quite the same....it wasn’t quite so delicious...
.............it tasted a far cry from my first bite of the McChicken I have had the pleasure to indulge some twenty years ago ..........and also now the chicken patty was somewhat less...somewhat smaller....somehow thinner.........and the spinach
......less crunchy....less salad....and LESS.

..or is it me..

The next time ...I have the McChicken.... will be a few months later....and if it doesn’t change for the better.....that will be the Last time. [ Hope some McDonald’s Clowns read this.....]

I remembered when I was little (4years and on)......I look forward to my mother given birth to all my younger siblings ...(and never stop giving birth).........memorably it was one of the most satisfying moment because I get to eat all the good stuffs .........that relatives and friends brought for my mother during her confinement.
........... heehee...Yum.. mummy is a very fussy eater...and I had everything else....like the chocolates......Brands.......Dom Perignon cooked with Chicken and loads of Gingers ...Ovaltines , the cocoa drink I missed so much .....and MOST of all I missed the Jacob’s cream crackers....I craved so much.

I just cannot explain the deliciousness ......it was so good then............and...
....Over the years, I bought Jacobs on and off....hoping to get that deliciousness......sadly, it never ever came near as being quite as good as.................Oh! how I miss the creamy deliciousness of the golden years.

...or is it me......

I don’t think so!

I made a yearly pilgrimage, so to speak , to the Kampar Noodle Stall about 200 km from where I stay....My father took me here when I was young...his father brought him there ....I took Sam here to savor the honest-to-goodness bowl of fish balls noodles....and I brought my children here....


It tasted just as delicious...maybe not quite so.....but it was still satisfyingly just as good.

The stall was managed by the old matriarch ...who has been operating here for the past 50 years.......those days she was helped by her late husband and during the school holidays by her children....
..............Her children are all professionals ...receiving the best education financed by the Matriarch’s Enterprise........Many of her children have their own family and staying away in the city...and some emigrated abroad.

The Matriarch stayed with one of the children once for a very brief period...she couldn’t take the inactivity.....and she returned here to do the business that had serve her and the family so well....and she DOES all the preparation by herself......she is in her mid-70s....
........That might explained the slight dip in the deliciousness of her famous “Kampar Fish Balls Noodles”....an institution in this small town...known by all in this country.


Is it me?
No ..my taste bug hadn’t change....
...........profitability replaced honest-to-goodness deliciousness.

Wok with Bob.

“Wok with Bob” is about my favourite past time.......EATING.



After weeks of feasting running up to the New Year 2010.........and the banquets for the pre-Chinese New Year Celebration .........and... the associate companies annual dinners
.... and the family gathering luncheons....and........and........the Sundays morning breakfast bash ......and the midnight snacks ..... suppers ...

..... I have had enough of good food and fine cuisines... ......so when an invitation to dine with friends at the fringe of the jungle on some weird wildlife... I accepted the invitation without reservation.

On that particular day I arrived at the destination 5 hours later .... getting there was half the fun as I enjoyed the country drive........I saw cows .........goats............
....chickens.......and one “ jungle crab” running across the road......and some big birds that look like Turkeys... (I don’t know)....maybe Ostriches....
....... tiger poohs on the beaten tracks (very strong smell)......and the bigger poohs must be the elephant’s .....and yes.........I saw some buffaloes.

I met my friends at another friend house which doubled up as a restaurant.........I was very happy to see them and after exchanging some pleasantries....we got down to serious business...that is to FEAST.

We had ...Curry Wild Boar ........Braised Venison........Herbal Snakes.......with lots of Beers
.........I didn’t touch the Paprika fried Squirrel...because I saw the preparation and I shot a video clip of it....It was too Cute to be eaten.....sniff!

I might want to be a vegetarian one day.....maybe...eating less meat for now.





..

Money..money..Money..

..Money money Money

..it’s a rich man world!!!!!

This must have the quietest Christmas ever....for the first time in as many years I have no invitation to a party...dinner......luncheon.......from friends and relatives because they are not celebrating due to financial difficulties.

I looked around me ...the neighbourhood.....the streets.......I can hardly see any decorations....Christmas trees...........people are just not celebrating......even the midnight Mass saw less people judging from the cars park along the road soulders......

There weren’t any sounds of gaiety ....crackers....christmas caroling...........save a few songs here and there from the television...

...most restaurants were not doing well .......no reservation is needed......less clientele even if there is ...they went for the less expensive.....mainly very tight fisted.

Where is faith ...is it so shallow.......it is all about money.....is it!

.........I remembered the good times...when they sang praises.......when they wept with joy .....of their love for God.....when they hug one another in the name of brotherhood.........sisterhood.......of.....their Paradise......

...I remembered also their devotion.....their love...their sigh...their incoherent sound of praises.....chit...cit...ha....

....... and then money ran out........... All is quiet .......this Silent Night.

...the Economic crunch got the better....God is feeling the pinch too!


...........and in another word.....“who is God to these people...God or money.”


I read once, How the Government expects the people to be loyal when they have no money to buy flags.........in another words....do not expect the citizen to be loyal when their stomachs are empty.......the same holds true for the so called “Reborn...”

I am a Chinese....then a Buddhist.......I made no pretense....I am not Holier than thou type........Money makes the whole go round...that’s the fact...

Like most Chinese....money is our Religion.....to most, Money is everything...to some, Money is the only thing....... and ...we strive for it.......we pray for it ...we pray to it..
Worshipping money unashamedly .....It’s OUR GOD!.......FULL STOP.

...to a Chinaman....”No Money, No Honey”...that simple.


I differ from the norm.....and deviate a little from the stereotyped Chinese...to me ....“Money means Financial Independent”....so that I do not have to worry about all the earthy things associated with money......it means Freedom of the heart and soul..... to be able to concentrate on doing social work......to meet peoples....to help people....
...to serve Humanity in my own capacity.

..and in another word.......Money makes me HUMAN....(so to speak).

( which holds true...look around you...Bill Gates and the like..)


I end this with a note of wisdom (perhaps, love) ....

...“When poverty knocks on the door, love flies through the window.”


Happy New Year to you all...let the coming year be a productive one for you and me.

Love......Robert.



......some of the Children I met....it touches my heart a lot to see brotherly and sisterly love.....their parents are hawker, selling fried fritters down the road.