Thursday, August 7, 2008

Coconut and Bobbit.

Coconut and Bobbit.

Yesterday, I stopped by a coconut stall to quench my thirst……I was amazed by what I saw…….the coconut lady frightens me…she splits the coconut with consummate finesse and prowess that left me wondering about her husband…….and boy!.....I sympathize with the man.

I was laughing my heads off inside while maintaining a smiling composure…..when I drew parallel of the possible impending situation with relation to the woman’s husband and Mr. Bobbit.

For the benefit of those who went on a space expedition during the Bobbit’s tribulation…I will give a blow by blow summarized account of that fateful night.

Fed-up with her husband’s philandering pursuit…Mrs.Bobbit decided that enough was enough …on that night…Mrs.Bobbit sliced off Mr.Bobbit’s ‘family jewel’…..and drove off…while driving she decided that the ‘jewel’ is not worth the keep and she tossed it out from the window.

Mr.Bobbit was taken to the hospital and the police was informed…Mrs.bobbit was caught and told that she threw the ‘jewel’ out…

A search party was immediately activated to look for the ‘missing link’…while Mr.Bobbit was waiting eagerly to be reunited. Luck was with Bobbit…a boy scout found it…it was packed in ice and helicopter-ed to the hospital…The Surgeon successfully attached ‘the link’ and the REUNION was solemnized.

Both the Bobbit went separate ways….both made a fortune selling the memoir…Mr.Bobbit wrote a book about his “journey to recovery”…

….Mrs.Bobbit who emigrated somewhere wrote about her “journey to self-dicovery” ..the last I read was that she is LOOKING for MR.Right (may God be with him) ..and Mr.Bobbit found Miss. Right (thank God for Viagra).

It weren’t so lucky for two fellow down in Philippines….one had it cut off and fed to a goose and the other guy’s wife decided to send it back where it came from…God….so the “Link” was attached to a balloon to be taken to heaven.

New word coined by Robert not inserted into the Thesaurus yet which may be of some use.

Bobbit: verb, slice and only applicable to coconut other then body parts.

Eg. She bobbited the coconut with consummate finesse.

Bobbitisis: noun, a psychological condition: fear of being bobbited.

Eg. He was suffering from Bobbitisis thus having sleeping disorder ever since his wife bought a pen knife from the book shop.

Bobbitism: noun, a new teaching mostly embraced by women folk .

Bobbitist: noun, followers of Bobbitism.

Bobbitish: adjective, word describing a noun eg. He was feeling bobbitish when he received a letter opener from his wife for his birthday.

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