Monday, August 25, 2008

Olympic 2012

It was written in the sky.

Goodbye Beijing 2008 - Hello London 2012

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Happy Birthday Zach.

Happy Birthday Zach.

I was looking forward to the gathering as I have not seen my family members for quite a while even though we stay just a few kilometers apart.. I was so happy to see mummy, brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces.

How time passed by, it seems like only yesterday we had our hands full with noises …ruckus of mischievous children running around…today, these children are grown-ups lawyers, accountants, engineers and doctors in the making.

As far as memory didn’t failed me, I have not missed any of the family gatherings …and I treasured those days…be it whatever the situation… ..…I will be here to celebrate the gatherings of the children’s children.

Happy birthday Zach….I shall be there to celebrate your children’s birthday.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Oh! Buddha.

Oh! Buddha.

I came home yesterday feeling very hungry as I have not had anything since breakfast. So I decided to have instant noodles. The story goes:

Robert: Whisky…masak mee (Whisky …cook noodles)

Whisky: Yes Sar ( Yes Sir)

I then went over to the computer …log in to DA… update the comments and replies…. (tik tik tok tok..I type as fast as I can with one finger because…)

[The computer has been acting strangely….instead of the usual desktop screensaver it has in placed ..WARNING!...Virus….

I didn’t pay much attention because the computer is still functioning albeit strangely….brushing it of as false alarm! I am not too sure now…..yesterday I had trouble posting “Happy Birthday Marta”. So if you don’t see me for the next few weeks….you know what happen and just in case, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY.]

…the story continues.

……half an hour later

Whisky: Sar mee sudah (Sir the noodles is ready)

Robert: Terima Kasih (Thank you)

Walk to the table and there before me???????..

.. With measured controlled voice I shrieked/screamed/whispered:

Robert: …w h i s k y mari sini (Whisky, come here)

Whisky: yes Sar (Yes Sir)

Robert: Apa awak buat (What have you done)

Whisky: masak mee (Cook noodles)

Robert: apa ni (What’s this)

Whisky: mee (Noodles)

After some back and forth conversation/questioning….I found out that Whisky put in too much water (enough for 2packs)……and cook too long.

Robert: lain kali satu mangguk cukup (Next time one bowl will be enough).


Whisky: faham…suli Sar…suli Sar. (Understand…sorry Sir….sorry Sir)

Whisky was in tears…came over to hug me…I stopped her…told her it’s alright. I ate the few remaining unbroken soggy strands of noodles when I thought it might be a good idea to record it… that you all can laugh/choke over the incident with me and help lessen the burden of pain/frustration/bewilderment/forest gumps and whatever upon me.


Oh! Buddha….I seek your wisdom and benevolence…Oh! Buddha.

Yeep! I drank the whole bowl of boiled water…burp!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Uncle Barber Joe.

Uncle Barber Joe.

After a life time having my hair cut by “Barber Joe” (posted on17th.Aug.2007) I made a switch to “Uncle Barber Joe”……mainly because “Barber Joe” keep increasing the price of haircut citing fuel hike and rising living cost. He charges $15 per haircut not including shaving that would cost another $5.

Since, I am feeling the brunt of the higher cost of living; I decided to switch to “Uncle Barber Joe”. I chanced upon the Shop about a year ago in a small town 80km away …..where I would stop by at my favorite restaurant for lunch before embarking on to my destination.

“Uncle Barber Joe” may be the oldest practicing barber in the world….he is 76 years old and he had been working in the same barber shop for over 60 years…cutting hair on the same chair. The younger man is his current boss.

This is that much I know about him but I shall try to uncover more information from uncle in due course.

Experience speaks volume…I am more than satisfied with the cut and the shaving though unnerving is the best shave I have ever had without the slightest “burn” or rash…he is as gentle as a kitten.

I have posted five video clipping of my hair rising adventure…one of the clipping shows how the shaving was done by his boss (face, ears and throat) ….the last one showing the ‘nail biting shaving session’ done on me by uncle…video tape by me.

For the record, this is the last time I allowed Uncle to shave me because…just to be on the safe side…it is like playing “Russian Roulette” when the blade is on the throat….you know what I mean.

The hair cut plus the shaving cost $5. (USD 1.50)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Indian Food Stall.

Indian foods stall.

This afternoon with some free time to spare…I drove 30km to this Indian stall to pack some “Roti Canai” home for my family. The “Roti Canai” ( I do not know the English equivalent) is a type of flour pancake….something like the Italian Pita,….and it is eaten with Curry dips. The Roti Canai is the Malaysian favorite food enjoyed by people of all races.

I have tasted Roti Canai all over Malaysia from 5 stars hotel…restaurants to stalls and this particular stall is currently the best. The fish and vegetables curry condiments to go with the fluffy pancakes is simply PERFECT in every sense.

I bought 8 at 90cents (USD 25cents) per piece.

Feast your eyes on the best ROTI CANAI>>>>

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The way I feel.

The way I feel…

Yesterday was hell for me….I was all washed….drained off every ounce of energy both physically and mentally.

While driving home..... A song by the Bay City Rollers came aired over the radio….. In my opinion, “The way I feel tonight” … is one of the most romantic song ever composed…and I just had to record it for all of you.

The reception was poor and hence the inferior sound quality but nevertheless you will get to feel the way I felt that night…... come accompany me on a drive.

Come journey home with me.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Karaoke..My Way.

Karaoke..My Way.

Just next to Bobbit’s coconut stall is the “fried noodle” stall with a different..

..It’s a Karaoke noodle stall…only one in the Universe…..I’m quite sure.

The proprietor (seen seated ) is a jolly fella with a big mouth to boast…

….claimed that when he was younger..he was the first ice-cream seller on the go with music machine mounted on his tricycle…and now he is the owner of the only “Open Air Fried Noodle cum Karaoke stall” in Malaysia.

He told me that his fried flat rice noodle (Chau Kwai Tew) is the best of the area….seriously, I believe him…having eaten out so many years…and seeing his ingredients and his pan-fried skill..I have no doubt whatsoever.

His stall will be jammed pack in the evening.

He asked me to order a plate..I declined mainly because I just had coconut and was feeling quite full but promise him I shall the next time round.

All his patrons will be allowed to sing for free and those non-eating customers would have to pay fifty cent per song.

The Enterprising fella….asked me to sing…to which I decline because I don’t know how to sing Chinese…

[No problem…I got …Flank Sinata….My Wai ..(Frank Sinatra’s My Way)..

…fifty cents only lah!!!.. very cheap!!]

I recollect the time when Karaoke was at its height…My Way was the most butchered song…everybody who thinks he is somebody or anybody at all would sing “My Way”. They would sing with full emotion of their arrival to this point…some with tears….we would laugh our heads off discreetly (my friends and I).

One night, after a few Margaritas…Tom Collins…Bloody Mary….boost it up with AK-47…something took over me..I finally volunteered to sing after so many years…I sang “My Way”…not because I have anything to shout about but rather that’s the only song I have practice year in year out in the private of the bath. So, I sang…they cried discreetly.

Ronnie (my pit-bull) stood up to clap…and everybody followed like-wise.

We adjourned later to our regular joint to have our late night supper…all my boisterous friends, ten in all, were strangely quiet and subdued. I was the only person eating while the rest were just having tea (unusual for a bunch of gluttons). Nobody cracks jokes…nobody talk……everyone was looking somewhere.

After supper, we went separate ways…two cars…one sent me home. My mother was at the gate coincidentally…she open the gate..I got down from the car pissed-off walk towards the gate.

Suddenly, I heard a loud shrill from the car…the doors opened…they burst out hysterically…squatting on the road …holding one another…patting each other…faced red…choking …coughing….LAUGHING like Hyenas

Ronnie vomited….I walk back to check…and started laughing…Mother was laughing too……it was so contagious.

Walk back inside…leaving my mother outside with them laughing their heads off.

That was the last time we went to a Karaoke.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Coconut and Bobbit.

Coconut and Bobbit.

Yesterday, I stopped by a coconut stall to quench my thirst……I was amazed by what I saw…….the coconut lady frightens me…she splits the coconut with consummate finesse and prowess that left me wondering about her husband…….and boy!.....I sympathize with the man.

I was laughing my heads off inside while maintaining a smiling composure…..when I drew parallel of the possible impending situation with relation to the woman’s husband and Mr. Bobbit.

For the benefit of those who went on a space expedition during the Bobbit’s tribulation…I will give a blow by blow summarized account of that fateful night.

Fed-up with her husband’s philandering pursuit…Mrs.Bobbit decided that enough was enough …on that night…Mrs.Bobbit sliced off Mr.Bobbit’s ‘family jewel’…..and drove off…while driving she decided that the ‘jewel’ is not worth the keep and she tossed it out from the window.

Mr.Bobbit was taken to the hospital and the police was informed…Mrs.bobbit was caught and told that she threw the ‘jewel’ out…

A search party was immediately activated to look for the ‘missing link’…while Mr.Bobbit was waiting eagerly to be reunited. Luck was with Bobbit…a boy scout found it…it was packed in ice and helicopter-ed to the hospital…The Surgeon successfully attached ‘the link’ and the REUNION was solemnized.

Both the Bobbit went separate ways….both made a fortune selling the memoir…Mr.Bobbit wrote a book about his “journey to recovery”…

….Mrs.Bobbit who emigrated somewhere wrote about her “journey to self-dicovery” ..the last I read was that she is LOOKING for MR.Right (may God be with him) ..and Mr.Bobbit found Miss. Right (thank God for Viagra).

It weren’t so lucky for two fellow down in Philippines….one had it cut off and fed to a goose and the other guy’s wife decided to send it back where it came from…God….so the “Link” was attached to a balloon to be taken to heaven.

New word coined by Robert not inserted into the Thesaurus yet which may be of some use.

Bobbit: verb, slice and only applicable to coconut other then body parts.

Eg. She bobbited the coconut with consummate finesse.

Bobbitisis: noun, a psychological condition: fear of being bobbited.

Eg. He was suffering from Bobbitisis thus having sleeping disorder ever since his wife bought a pen knife from the book shop.

Bobbitism: noun, a new teaching mostly embraced by women folk .

Bobbitist: noun, followers of Bobbitism.

Bobbitish: adjective, word describing a noun eg. He was feeling bobbitish when he received a letter opener from his wife for his birthday.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008



……………………………Long live the QUEEN

I stopped at a traffic light ..looked up and there before me …England.

It was windy and timing was crucial……the cloud formation might change within seconds…honk! .....the light turned green…honk!....honk!...

..for some strange reason…the camera was still in its fold when it should be on the standby…precious seconds wasted….honk! honk!.....took out the camera from the casing…click and waited….honk! honk! honk!

Ready to shoot…..HOOOONK!!!!....took my time….I was not about to let any impatiently fetish motorist disrupt the Moment……HOOOOONK!

…HOOOOOOOOOONK!........ adjusted the mode….steadied myself…aimed….positioned…HOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

……waited for the clouds below the formation to pass…HOOOONK!

..HOOOOONK!...honk!...honk!…click…..aimed….click……shift position…


Wound down the window….:thumbsup:..and drove off…

…...10 seconds in all!!!....dude…what’s the rush…you probably hadn’t finish picking your nose….some PEOPLE.

Steamboat and Good Deal.

Steamboat and Good Deal.

Last night, I took Sam out for dinner….we had Steamboat. I absolutely dislike it but it is Sam’s favorite….that’s all that matter. The Steamboat came with two soup base: Spicy Tom Yam on the right for Sam and the standard stock for me on the left. Several varieties of seafood were cook in it.

Needless to say….Sam enjoyed it thoroughly….and strangely I like it.

After dinner, we went for an hour drive to nowhere before heading home.

This morning, due to depressingly poor situation on the business front….I decided to take Sam out with me for company and lunch. We chanced upon a promotional drive of a cell phone network provider and we decided to check it out.

It cost $8.50 to subscribe the prepaid ($5 airtime and $3.50 sim card)….with free gifts….keychain, memorabilia and a cup of Popcorn (which would have cost $5 outside a cinema).

Since we were the early bird…we got to choose the best number and Sam chose the number ending with 119…phonetically in Chinese “Yat Yat Kau” …in English it means “longevity and forever”.

I, on the other hand got my 2 seconds of fame (courtesy of Sam)…..of me receiving Freebies on camera to be aired later on TV…..don’t BLINK!!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Welcome home..Ashitaka.

Welcome home…Ashitaka.

While I was reading Emily’s enquiry about Ashitaka well being this morning…..I received a call from Dr. Kanda asking us to fetch Ashi home.

We went there immediately… Sam, Whisky and I.

We were so happy to see Ashi boy….my eyes were a bit wet.

Whisky, my maid, was a recent convert….from a dog eater to a dog lover..

……from loving to eat dog to loving dog as friend and family..

…:hmm: I wonder what’s going through Whisky’s mind when she was holding Ashi…FOOD or LOVE…..:lol:

Whisky culinary adventure is a story to be told another day….but now


Thank you to all of you on behalf of Ashitaka…woof…woof…

Saturday, August 2, 2008

The Mecca of Sleep.

A couple of months ago ..I took a nap in this sleeping den…nobody was around…I had the best rest ever….the soothing rolling sounds of the wave provided the lullaby and with the gentle sea breeze blowing….rest came easy.

Yesterday, I was at the Mecca of sleep….I just had to show and tell you all.

The Den was occupied and I sneaked up quietly to make this video clip…treading carefully so as not to announce myself…for they might not take it too kindly if they knew what I was doing..(Taboo: photograph while asleep is stealing the soul away).

I focused away and on the flags when they became suspicious….and not wanting to push luck too far…..I walked away…..or I might have a horde of angry men wielding machetes coming after me…( just exaggerating…they are simple nice civilize village folks…the worst is that I get scolded).

Incidentally, it reminded me of a situation many many years ago…in a small outpost of a nation at civil war…fame for it’s cannibalism and shrunken skulls………I was chased by mobs armed with machetes and sticks.. They thought that I was a government personnel. I barely escape but was slashed on the right side of the abdomen……ran into a church…staple up the wound with a stapler and waited.

The soldiers arrived… and…pop!!!….pop!!!…pop….pop!!!!..